motivated, not.

I'm supposed to be working so hard at my projects but the weirdest thing is, I'm so shag even without investing a great deal of time into my projects. It's like my brain has this auto function where it gets all sleepy the moment work is concerned.

I get home somedays and I almost feel like a visitor in my own home. I leave the house at an average of 11am and arrive home after 10pm everyday, I barely have time to talk to my parents and brother - and god knows how so much time passes by each day without me really achieving much.

And I'm currently stuck on one super major project and the feeling sucks to the core. I've never been stalled this long at one particular point. A.R.R.R.G.G.G.G.H.H.

With so much to push against, how to survive?(!!!!!!)

I dream of JJ last night. She curled up in my Dad's car while I stroke her to sleep, and she purrs ever so softly in her dreams; a dream within a dream. And when my Dad's car reached its destination (which happened to be the airport), I found the tears streaming down my face because I knew she was gone. Don't know how I'm so perceptive even in a dream. And so the tears flowed and flowed and flowed... and then I woke up.

Come to think of it, I haven't had nice pleasant dreams in a long, long while. Maybe they're too far from reality for me to even be able to conceive them anymore.